1600 Pennsylvania Avenue – Is Lincoln Coming Back as a Vampire Hunter?


1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Is Lincoln Coming Back as a Vampire Hunter?

by Amy Lignor


For those who may be unaware (although, it’s hard to believe anyone can be considering how many books were sold), a fantastic writer named Seth Grahame-Smith penned a novel a few years back Is Lincoln Coming Back as a Vampire Hunter?talking about our “honest” President returning as a Vampire Hunter and slaying all the ones who deserved slaying. Oddly enough, what once sounded like fun sci-fi now seems like it’s something Lincoln might be thinking about doing. Why, you ask? Well, before continuing, it’s important to note that this article is nothing about who should win the upcoming election. Democrat, Republican, Independent…Tasmanian devil – frankly, it’s the best of a bad situation. This article is really all about the massive changes in politics that can be seen more than ever, through the words being spoken in 2016.


“If we ever forget we are ‘One Nation under God,’ then we will be a nation gone under,” said Ronald Reagan. Well…so much for that one, aye?


“America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.” Yup. That’s Honest Abe who stated these words, and if he saw the internal combustion happening now, he’d be shell-shocked.


“Knowledge will forever govern ignorance,” James Madison noted during his time. When, exactly, did that change?


“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.” FDR was adamant about this. Even though his bank account was just fine, he truly felt like a chicken should be in every pot.


The first big kahuna, however, chimed in with what seems to be the most profound when speaking about this election: “If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.” Makes you wonder if George Washington would change his mind, or at least find a way to “edit” some of the ‘dumb’ comments being made so freely.


Is this an overstatement? Well…let us see:


Climate change is a topic that many don’t agree on, yet saying, “There could be some man-made something. But you know, if you look at China, they’re doing nothing about it,” seems more than a bit moronic.


Violence has taken center stage in this country. From police shooting people to people shooting people to even idiots dressing up like clowns (literally) to scare and harm various neighborhoods in various states. Of course something needs to be done about violence, yet we have a candidate that shrugs (after the Umpqua Community College mass shooting) and states, “These things happen.”


Lincoln wanted everyone treated equally…right? Well, one of our candidates chimed in, (at a kick-off rally back in June) with the words: “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.” And his solution? “I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”


Is Hillary Clinton free of dumb remarks? Nope. When she was asked about her emails (a subject that seems to have been going on almost as long as whether or not Tom Brady of the Patriots deflated footballs during Deflategate), stated: “What? With like a cloth or something?”


Course, that’s not all. The supposed choices for second-in-command also made sure to have a debate that was not about issues, so much as it was about how many barbs can two people throw at each other during a given amount of time? (Did you count? They seemed to outnumber what came up in normal conversations between Taylor and Burton during their marriages).


Most likely (or we should hope) none of these particular comments will show up engraved on a collectible U.S. coin in the future. History certainly has had its horrific moments. America has had its battles, arguments, and nasty things occur because of loud mouths and not-so-interested minds. But when it comes to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, the way 2016 is going, this address may just end up to be nothing more than a comic strip. Tours will still be given, of course, but perhaps the guides will have to speak about what history was like before the presidential seat was vacated by men who didn’t need Facebook, Twitter, etc.


And if you happen to see a really tall man with a beard, wearing a top hat, standing with an axe in his hand outside the address, you’ll know that Lincoln did get so mad on the “other side” that he decided to become that novel character after all.


Source:  Baret News


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