Without Stewart…The News (And Laughter) Must Go On


Without Stewart…The News (And Laughter) Must Go On

by Amy Lignor


Yes, Comedy Central is still a fine station. “The Daily Show…” is also okay. Trevor Noah, the new host of the show, is trying his absolute best. But, let’s face it, asking Noah or anyone else to do the job is like asking that ridiculous comedian to truly BE Colonel Sanders and understand the concept of why Kentucky Fried Chicken seriously rules!

It is heartbreaking not seeing Jon Stewart’s requisite “quilt of looks” as he tells the rest of us the dumbest – yet truest news each and every day. His laughter as he brought the headlines to our attention is greatly missed. But…it is a fact that when it comes to news, the dumbest of the dumb must still be shared. (Just imagine Stewart’s grin while reading)


For those who are unaware, the large state of New Mexico has had some interesting news in the last couple of weeks. First, a van was transporting five inmates between jails that are 170 miles apart. The story is a bit fuzzy but, supposedly, the police stopped to get gas or something at a mini-mart, and when they reached their destination 170 miles later they found out that only three inmates were still on board. Thankfully, the bad guys got re-caught, but…did the cops include themselves when they did the count, or is five just a really high number in the dry, lonely desert? Hmmm.


One other New Mexico tidbit comes from Roswell AND has to do with a UFO. The silver decorative UFO that was attached to the side of the Roswell UFO Museum was taken down for repairs after a strange and hardly-ever-seen snowstorm hit the town and damaged it this past winter. The UFO was in the back of the building under an awning being repaired when three men pulled up, lifted the UFO, put it in the back of their truck and drove away. The UFO was found shattered into pieces along a main highway the next day. No arrests have been made. The perpetrators and their crime was caught by a trusty security camera. Is it important to say that the actual police department is just a couple of feet away across the road? Probably not.


More fun headlines are out there. News comes in the form of a Mascot party held in University City at the Palestra; the University of Pennsylvania. Really furry friends, this includes the NBC10 (local) Peacock, broke out their dance moves to break a Guinness World Record. Great video is available and money was raised for childhood cancer.


In Suffolk County, New York, Girl Scouts proved to one and all that they were the “smart cookies” when it came to selling those thin mints that everyone loves. They took a picture of Leonardo DiCaprio who was eating Trefoils at the Oscar ceremony and made it into a poster to attract more customers. Talk about star power, these scouts proved they will one day leave their badges behind and be entrepreneurs on “Shark Tank.”


In Arizona, there is a sign on the road from Nogales to Tucson that lists miles to go in kilometers, just to make all those students (including me) who despised the metric system in high school must do math while driving. When you think about signs that should be changed, however, the worst are those found all across the country where someone had no idea how to spell the word: SCHOOL. Look them up. Everything from SKOOL to SCOOL to SCHOL has been painted on America’s roads…which is actually far more scary than funny.


In North Carolina a man was arrested for not returning a VHS tape that he’d obviously really loved, considering he’d had it for the past fourteen years. Police pulled his car over for a busted taillight and when the officers pulled up his license they found the warrant issued in 2002. The charge? Failure to return hired property. No movie is worth all this silliness.


And let’s not forget a past headline featuring an alligator that was thrown through a drive-up window in Florida. Gator is fine, thankfully. But not only must you feel upset for the poor gator because he probably thought his loved ones had become part of the menu, but also because he had to be in a fast food joint smelling that crap instead of having a lovely jungle dinner with his female counterpart.

Girl Scouts, Arizona, North Carolina

Television host Jon Stewart reacts during a taping of “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,” in New York, on Wednesday Nov. 30, 2011. (AP Photo/Brad Barket)

With all the tragedy in this world today, it is becoming clearer that Jon Stewart’s ability and talent to make us all laugh was and is necessary. Humor has a way of making the brighter spots in life rise above the hideous crimes people are choosing to commit in this day and age. So, as the politics and painful news continues, here’s some advice. Take a moment to laugh at least once a day. We all need it.


Source:  Baret News


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